Wish I owned a key

I am so fed up and hollow at the same time right now. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. Success has eluded me again, and all the positive thinking and effort seems like wasted energy. I dared to dream only to find I don't belong, once, twice, three times the charm. I get it, I get it, I get  it, I'm gone.

I have more student loan debt than my children's pediatrician, and yet I cannot find a job to take care of my family. People are so quick to say oh something will come; I appreciate that positive vibe but don't marginalize my struggle. I wish I could blame my life on someone else but I know I am the architect of this prison I currently reside in. I built it. I accept that. I also know that I have been putting in the work to bring it down and erect a new one.

How can I build and provide when I cannot earn enough money to support my family adequately. I am the over educated clerk, waiter, driver, and customer service rep that could become a force for change if I could just get in the door. Too bad I don't own a key.