The Invasion has Begun!!!

The invasion has begun. The summer is over and the plague that is freshman has begun to matriculate into convenience stores all over the country. I assume this because I am convinced that we are not the only ones that suffer with countless drones, or should I say thoughtless zombies that long to binge drink in the dorm away from their parents watchful eyes, and expectations. It seems to me that we might all be served better by really looking at our children and seeing if they are ready to go away to school alone. Nonsense you say, of course they are ready! Are they really ready or are you just ready to reclaim your house? Hmmmm? Well let’s look at some examples. Today was Tuesday and most people might have a beer or two, ok, ok it is college right and you don’t have classes till Thursday so their might be a little more drinking than just a beer or two. However many of the consumers are underage dying inside to try out that new fake Id. Let’s go over the tell tale signs. Number one productive people don’t drink 72 beers on a Tuesday night, nor do they come in with questions about the content or differences between Natty and Bud. Number two people with real id’s don’t have a problem producing them nor do they have issues with knowing the information on their Id. Lastly IF YOUR ID SAYS AUTHENTIC, GENUINE, CERTIFIED, OR SECURITY LOCK IT’S NOT REAL!!!!!! Now please exit the building without a scene and some dignity.

P*ssy Juice and Money

So let’s talk about proper money etiquette shall we. Ok so recently I work the third shift at my local store. I had a couple of people that where characters, but none that compared to the two guys that came in towards 6 in the morning. Two guys approached the counter laughing and talking. At first I paid very little attention to their conversation, that is until one of the guys plopped down a rather large ball of wet cash. I stared down at the matted wet mess now leaking water onto my counter top, with a small amount of judgment in my eyes. I knew that there was going to be an interesting story behind this mass of green and white mess. One of the guys looked at me and said “Man this money got ass and pussy juice on it, I hope she ain’t think she was getting all this money”. By this point another customer has gotten in line behind these two guys, and my judgmental has transformed into on of shock and awe. The other guy then chimes in and says that there were some freaky events taking place in a tub, with some strippers. They used the wet money to purchase condoms, blunts and cigarettes, the long night survival kit. Then one of the guys decided he needed something sweet, so he meandered around the store making idol conversation with his friend leaving the matted ball of money on the counter spilling it’s questionable liquid content all over the counter. Eventually they got everything they needed and left. Now that we have a little bit of the back-story here comes the rant. If you are out and having a good time let’s try and remember a couple of things. The first thing to remember is to be aware of your surroundings. The other customers in the store need to use that counter space too and no on appreciates a freaking wet counter top. The second thing is I nor does any one else being paid to do this crappy job and work over night with idiots wants to have to deal with wet money that you have crammed into some girls anus or vagina, in a bathtub. Third if you do have to bring the money into the store let’s attempt to dry it off and not squeeze the contents of the fluid soaked paper on to the counter and the clerk announcing that there is pussy juice and ass juice on the money. Finally have a little class it’s okay to have a good time but let’s not be assholes about the degrading circumstances that you have put someone else through to have your fun. At the very least keep that shit to yourself or share it outside.

Handle who?

So I was at work dealing with the usual rush of people in a hurry. They are either getting off work and wanting cigarettes, buying beers and blunts. Oh and God forbid they for get to gamble that extra money on the lottery, when a man come in and bypasses the line and approaches the counter. Normally I'm all for a person being blunt and to the point. Dealing with people who don't know w=hat they want all day long, it is refreshing to deal with someone who knows exactly what they want, Usually. So the guy ask me if he could get a store lighter, take it outside and light his cigarette. I tried to explain to him that they were not my personal lighters to lend out, and that I didn't have one or any matches and I couldn't just let him take it from the store either. Now at this point I really didn't care about the lighter, but it was the principal of the thing, I had a store full of people and unfortunately I have to enforce the stores policy if I want to stay employed. This dude starts to get a major attitude. At this point I'm still trying to be polite, but that is wearing away quickly. The guy cuts through the line and asks another employee of the store if she was the manager. To which she replied no. Then he ask her can he get a lighter and take it outside to light his cigarette, and of course she gives him the exact same answer I did, almost word for word. "Alright, alright, I'm a handle you" he says looking at me as he exits the store. Hmm really is it that serious? I mean I am a smoker not an everyday smoker but I smoke occasionally and up until that point I could kind of understand his position. Long day lighter goes out on you all you wanna do is light ya cig up and smoke out. However don't blame me cause you ain't got a dollar six in your pocket to buy a lighter it's obvious you need one right? Side note every one in the store after he left was like WHAT THE F*@K. I shrugged it off and continued to watch the day pass waiting to get "handled"